Relationship Advice
The engagement period is a wonderful, and sometimes overwhelming, phase of a relationship. Below are some tips and suggestions for you to consider during the hectic months to come:
- Don’t try to change each other. Your wedding day is one of the most important days of your life. It should be a day to commemorate your love, and to think about all the great things you see in one another. Brides: try not to become a dreaded "Bride-zilla." If you do, your fiancé might get a case of (equally dreaded) "cold feet." If you feel overcome with stress, take a deep breath and remember why and how you fell in love with each other in the first place.
- It's easy to forget that your partner can't read your mind. It doesn't matter how close you are. If you want or expect something to be done, it's best to simply ask.
- Communication. Use clear communication as opposed to hints. 'Hinting' is not an effective way to achieve anything, and it can lead to greater confusion. Be vocal. Communicate your feelings. Talk things out. Your communication with one another now sets the tone of how you will communicate with one another during your marriage.
- Never say negative things about your fiancé in front of other people, or publicly make fun of your fiancé. It's hurtful and embarrassing. Keep any teasing private.
- Although the proverb says the contrary, absence actually makes the heart grow less fond during an engagement. You need to work together with your fiancé to plan your wedding. Dealing with the big and small issues of planning your wedding and honeymoon can be helpful in establishing your problem solving techniques in the future. Plus, this is a time for the two of you to grow even closer together.
- To best prepare for marriage, it’s important to seek some kind of pre-marriage counselling. A pre-marriage retreat is a fantastic way for a couple to spend time together and learn more about each other. An unusual, exciting setting like a nature retreat is a great way for engaged couples to explore their partner's views on all aspects of life.
- Don’t forget to have fun with each other. Planning a wedding is stressful, but taking time out to lighten up can help keep things in perspective. Smear some whip cream on his face when picking out the wedding cake, or buy her a nice bouquet of flowers after picking out the arrangements. Who knows, perhaps he or she might just fall even harder for you than before!
- Set priorities and goals. The two biggest obstacles to good wedding planning are procrastination and poor timeline management. Make sure both of you sit down and set time-lines for each other. Time-lines should include notes on who is doing what, and you should also establish deadlines for when different tasks need to be completed. Leaving an open ended gap for “one of you” to take initiative is usually a great way to start a big fight.
- Try to work well with your new in-laws and your fiancé's extended family. Learning how to work and cooperate with family members, and his or her best friend is important. When you both try to cooperate with all of the people in one anothers lives, it shows well-rounded commitment to your relationship.
- Finally, be frank about your personality differences, sexual expectations, and financial concerns. Finances come between many couples. A mutual agreement about your expectations and goals right out of the gate can eliminate, or at least reduce, future disappointments. Professional advice from marriage counsellors can be helpful here, as some couples prefer a professional space, and guidance, while exploring these sensitive areas.
