It’s Better Together - the art of extending that ever-elusive “honeymoon” period.
The term “honeymoon period of relationships is a well documented phenomena that everyone knows either as a direct experience or something that we saw our friends go through. It’s easy to see, boy meets girl and they are so excited to meet each other that they enter a bubble of bliss. They go off into a wonderful land of opportunity, wonder, joy, passion, and happiness. This may last for several weeks, months or even years but eventually it will come to a place where it's not as exciting as it used to be; reality kicks in and real life begins, you know, bills, work, health, stress all the things that really get in the way of being together fully.
Overstressed and overtired is all too common in our collective lives in work, life and family.
As a result, we start to choose to stay home over going out and engaging, we choose to do our “normal things” and generally start to choose relief and distraction over and gratification and satisfaction.
We have been taught since a young age that a successful happy life is about getting things like a job, a giant home, cars, everything external. We become engaged in how much we can get over how much can we give.
We tend to see the ones who have the most as the happiest and biggest winners. Remember when you were in that honeymoon phase you were constantly creating new ways of relating to each other. Bringing new things into your relationship was easy because you just met, but now you are too busy, too tired to do that anymore instead you choose watching a movie over actively bringing new ideas to life?
Think about a time that you brought something new to life, whether it was in your relationship, at home, or in your business. How about a time when you had a great idea and when you shared it, it really caught wind? Or a time when we may have had little or nothing but our dreams were big. In these moments of bringing new things to life our experience is of being incredibly present and enlivened.
Creating is powerful, it is a force of nature and it’s juicy, it is the world of satisfaction where we experience joy, freedom and expression.
When the honeymoon period starts to fade, here are 5 things you can do.
Weekly Creative Ideation Sessions. Have weekly idea sessions on a Sunday where you go to new places in the city and write down new ideas for your life, your city, your world. Then choose 1 of those things to bring into your life this month. When you start to create together that juicy honeymoon melon comes back in a hurry.
Do morning rituals together. When you feel that you are being pulled apart and feeling less in synchronized. Start waking up at the same time and going to sleep at the same time. One of the greatest gifts of having a partner is having someone on your path. Design a morning routine that serves both of your needs and try to do something together. Try a 2-minute meditation right when you get out of bed.
Do yoga together. It will bring you back to being in a grounded space; it will create space for you to let go of the everyday stress so that you can be more present with each other. Yoga brings that.
Cook together. If one of you is the “cook” of the house, don’t let that stop the other from getting involved. Buy a new cookbook, our favorite is “Oh She Glows”, and pick one new recipe to cook together this week. Again, creating is a powerful force of nature and even cooking together can bring that honeymoon feeling back. Are you starting to get the idea yet?
Start a revolution. Together. Ask yourself, what are you here to do together that would make the world a better place to be? Get to know the values that really light you up as a couple. What are those aha moments that happened during your honeymoon period that had you feeling on top of the world? Was it joy? Was it that time you volunteered together for the hope mission? Keep a diary about what excites you as a couple and share that back with the world. It could be as simple as decorating your home during Halloween because you want to deliver joy to the world, or starting your own charity that gives back to a community you encountered in your travels. Whatever lights you up, go share that back with the world!
Yogi, entrepreneur, life coach and founder of Edmonton’s BLOOM Yoga & Life Design Festival www.itstimetobloom.com , I am dedicated to helping as many people as possible live life more fully, to reach higher and to BLOOM. I design workshops that support people in current conversations to move them through into new and higher levels, these workshops include: Better Together and Digital Detox. Check out the Bloom website for updates on events and workshops happening in your area. Have questions? I would love to hear from you. firstname.lastname@example.org
Pictured: Robindra & his fiance, Myrah Penaloza